All this time I've been hoarding blog posts, articles, website, etc. in my bookmarks. I have thousands of them going back to 2000. I am now casually going through a few of them and I found a few casual pages that I can read, share, and delete.
The problem was, either I didn't have time to read it, or I saved it after reading it because I liked it but never knew why. What was missing was "sharing." Before that wasn't a possibility. I wasn't able to share interesting information, so I would just hoard it and didn't know how to get it out of my system. It's like this obsession of hoarding information and to try memorize everything and integrating it into my knowledge, life, and processing it into other things like "to-dos" and "to-buys."
Another thing that is now possible which wasn't possible before is:
Universal Wish Lists [Can save all the stuff I want to buy on Amazon, even if it's not on Amazon, and stop wasting bookmark space]
Toodledo [Can make to-dos with urls instead of just having them sit in my bookmarks folder]
YouTube Favorites [Favorite any video I want to watch again instead of saving it]
Youtube Playlists [Can save something into "to watch later" if I don't have time]
ReadItLater [If I don't have time to read something, I can just put it into ReadItLater]
RSS feeds [Bookmark entire blogs instead of individual blog posts]
Evernote Web Clips [Clip interesting information to "archive" instead of just having it take up space on my bookmarks]
Another thing to note: I have to differentiate between archiving old information and saving information to read later. Sometimes I read something already and I want to save it, but instead of putting it into Evernote or something, I have it taking up space on my bookmarks then I forget about it and read it again.
I just finished playing Second Life for several hours just exploring. I found this amazing city I want my avatar to move into called Insilico.
I suddenly remembered all my goals and dreams from the past when I would frequent these types of places, before I was so worried with my career path and my master's and trying to survive living on my own. When I was exploring SL, I wanted to create. That was my initial reaction. I wanted to create my own outfits, furniture, home, store, products, brand, buildings, cities, etc. I wanted to "DJ" at one of these virtual clubs. I then realized... My goal in this virtual world wasn't to be the VP of Marketing at some corporation, it was to create. To create a store, a business, art, fashion, music. This is what I want to do in real life. A virtual world gives you freedom to do whatever you want, and when you're in this world you get to find out who you truly are because there are no restrictions. I miss that...
In the 90's and early 00's, the Internet was all about anonymity. Being whoever you wanted and doing whatever you wanted. Before social networks, there were forums, chats, hubs, fan sites, etc. In these communities, people typically represented themselves with a character from their favorite anime or a symbol that represented them or sometimes even a character they made up. It was all about "image." You weren't bound to your real face and your real job. You could be who ever you wanted to be and you only gave as much info. as you felt comfortable with. When I played one of my first online games, The Sims Online, I remember there were people of all ages and countries, and I actually had great conversations and even befriended these people. People are not worried about their body image, age, sex, location, occupation, education, etc. You are whoever you want. Even during the interstitial phase of MySpace, you still had freedom to put whatever you wanted on your profile, even if it's horrible neon-colored animated gifs with clashing comic sans font. People were able to express themselves more freely.
I still remember during that time I was preoccupied with creating for myself an "online identity." An online identity and a virtual one too. It's almost like I forgot about all of that.
Facebook, Linkedin, and related entities are the new era of the internet. It's all about who you are in real life. What you look like, who your friends are, what you studied, what your job is, and what you "like." This is a horrendous reinforcement of mass-consumerism and materialism. You are your job. You are what you buy. You are your friends. And literally, many of Facebook's algorithms use your friends to make suggestions, recommendations, options, decisions for you. It's almost like an inferred "groupthink" rather than the boundless, infinite individualism of before.
This is something I really want to get into. This and video games. Although it seems like "real life" gets in the way.
Looking back, I am glad that I have developed my "real life." Before when I was living in a virtual and online world, I wished for a better "real life" that matched what was going on in my computer screen. But now I can say I'm closer to being self-actualized and bridging the gap between my virtual, online, and real lives. Hopefully they can all work together so that I can be a fuller, more holistic person with more options and ideas.
The virtual world teaches you and reminds you to be yourself without societal constraints. With the "virtual" philosophy under my belt, I can now hope to be more myself, and not worry so much about "societal norms" and things like that which impede with who I really want to be. Like I said, I want to create, I want to be creative, so I need to remind myself of that before I become a corporate zombie.
Although, I need to find a balance between such an immersive experience as SL and my first life. :)
I'm coming to an end of of my job acquisition process where all my energy has been focused for the past couple of months.
Now I want to focus my energy on other things, and just relax. [I tend to have a habit of monomaniacally obsessing on one thing and ignoring all else.] I want to "take it easy" mostly and just focus on "leisure."
Note to self: Plan out leisure activities, so you don't just lie in bed all day, vegging out watching TV, make room for other media. Try to divide leisure from "errands." Leisure activities, especially reading have become for me more of a chore because I've been conditioning myself to associate them with "errands" as I have written them in the same lists as homework assignments, chores, payments, and errands.
Although, these are not all "leisure" activities, but other goals and things I want to do.
Ideas of things to do:
Finish reading "The Secret"
Get and read NLP book
Get and read "The Power"
Buy and Install iPhone Accessories
Study for and take GMAT
Write down questions and talk to counselor for all requirements for master's program
Get Passport
Pay off all your credit cards [first]
Read books on your bookshelf
Read all books you have
Give away books you don't want
Read books that belong to rest of family
Buy more books
Create a "schedule of consumption" and budget where you get a certain number of books, music, and other media to a point where you don't get overwhelmed
Start doing exercises
Eat better!
Create and stick to eating and exercising regimen, with DailyBurn
Get Withings scale after a certain weight
Get Nike+GPS shoes [or just the app]
Start walking around the neighborhood
Replace smoking with vaping completely.
Get backup ecig battery [blue or white LED]
Get more ecig liquid
Go through all your boxes of papers, notebooks, office supplies, etc. and separate into groups
I am so happy! I just had a breakthrough. Now it is so much easier to make your own custom clothes. Years ago, with Cafepress you can make things like simple t-shirts and mugs. Now there are even more options. You can even design your own shoes now! Major companies like Vans and Converse are letting you create your own shoes with some pre-selected patterns. But via Zazzle, you can put whatever image or text you want on it without limit!
This takes a huge pressure off of my latent fashion design aspirations which I've neglected. I was thinking of going to fashion school later on and taking classes and such. That is still an option if I want. But honestly, one of the main reasons I wanted to go into fashion was because I was unhappy with the limited options that I had from many retailers who really didn't fit my tastes, and it was very hard to find something I actually liked. Now with the internet, it's easier to find something I like, and if not, I can create it myself! Really, I just want to make and modify my own clothes to my tastes. The whole business aspect to it is not that important to me. Yes, I can have a little niche store somewhere in the catacombs of the internet which I sell something I like to a wider audience if I want. But I don't have to worry about this being my main source of getting the clothing I really want to wear.
Hmmm.
I feel like I'm in "limbo" right now. I don't even know how to explain it, I've gone through a lot of drastic changes lately. Moving, finishing school, not working, not having money, the job search, my grandma in a nursing home, living at home with my parents again, etc. I put all my force and energy to get a job in the career I wanted and majored in: Marketing... But after a month of a applying, I've heard from no one. There is still a chance that someone may call from one of my more recent applications, I hope. I am in the process of getting a job at a dental clinic. It pays the minimum I set myself to accept and it's not in the field I want, but at least now I have that relief. I will have money to pay off my bills without worry or stress and to get rid of some of my debt. Originally I wanted to stick with this job until I found a new one which I wanted, but now I'm thinking on another strategy. Maybe the trouble I've gone through is a sign. It's no fluke that I'm here in Gainesville. I really didn't want to move here, but I finally settled to be here for a year or two or more to satisfy my parents who missed me. And honestly, my family needs my help. From what I see, all the Marketing jobs are in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale/West Palm Beach metropolitan area, and there are only about a dozen here in the mid-size town of Gainesville. I've poured every ounce of energy into applying, obsessively perfecting my cover letters and resumes, and I can't any more. I'm starting to think there's a reason to all of this. During the beginning of my job search, instead of actually applying, I found myself doing research on UF, the local university, and seeing what I needed to do a Master's. I found out UF is one of the top 100 graduate business schools in the world. They also have a program which you can finish within a year. And from what I see, a lot of companies will take you if you have a Master's in lieu of experience. Also, we're still in a recession [or coming out of one, depending on your sources], and during a recession people tend to focus on education in lieu of the bad job market. I'm just going to settle with the job at the dental clinic that I'm getting. Pay off debt. Study for and pass the GMAT. Then begin to apply to UF. I can find some part-time jobs myself or through the school that are flexible. And I can also save up money for my bills during the time I'm in school. Also, I need to get out of the house and see what's around this town. Maybe I can make some friends and find some nice "hangouts." I would like to check out the local goth club. I really haven't given this place a chance yet. After I graduate, I want to focus on getting a good job here in Gainesville, making good money, gaining experience, paying off all my debts, and saving up. During that time I want to also focus on getting myself certifications: Certified MBA, Certified Manager, Certified Marketer, etc. After that, I'm pretty much done with degrees and certifications, unless I decide to get a DBA. With the money I save up, I can begin to make my life in Miami, which is where I want to be. With the help of the career office, I can try and land a good job in Miami or Ft. Lauderdale. My dream is to have a condo in Downtown Miami. Right now I'm conflicted in wanting to spend time with my family and wanting to live my life alone in Miami. My wish is to make enough money so that I can help my parents get a nice house in Broward or something so they can be close to me. I can live in a center of a metropolis, and they can live in a manufactured suburb close by. I can even stay over on weekends if I want to. The thing is not to have any debt.
Interspersed through all of this, it is absolutely critical that I make a concerted effort towards "self-actualization." I tend to monomaniacally obsess over things like school, career, and finances, but I completely disregard everything else. I want to exercise, be healthy, lose weight, and work on myself. I want to read. I want to finally get around to reading all the books I have, and actively begin to read new books on a frequent basis. I want to constantly discover new music. I want to play video games, including co-op with my sister or a friend. Some games I have just sitting here and I haven't even played them. I want to maybe learn a new language. I want to design and build websites and smartphone apps. I want to organize all my notes, to-do lists, goals, notebooks, papers, etc. I have into a virtual and physical filing cabinet and into solid projects that I complete. I want to organize my digital online life and reconcile it with my physical one. I want to focus on my [sleeping] dreams, keep a dream journal, and develop lucid dreaming and astral projection. I want to go to some "psychic" workshops and learn reiki and maybe some other techniques. I want to go to all kinds of workshops in anything I'm interested in. I want to actively watch movies, in theatres, on Netflix/Blockbuster, On Demand, on TV, etc. I want to create art. I want to create music. Maybe I could write a book one day. I want to continue to develop my personal life philosophy, reality, and belief system. I want to lose myself in something completely, whether a video game, a conspiracy theory, music, etc. I want to design and create clothing and have my own store, which is probably one of my highest dreams. I want to start an online business. I want to DJ. I want to take dance lessons. I want to own a nightclub. I want to develop my own fashion sense which I've had floating around in my head since age 12, but never actualized due to weight issues. I want to be me...
It's all these things that I want to actively focus on which make me happy. And I don't want it to be something that I just casually brush by with alpha waves of brain functioning. A lot of things that I have been seeing have been telling me to focus on what makes me happy and to align myself with that. Honestly, I initially wanted to go to art school and become a fashion designer. But my decision, which I still stand by, was to study business because I wanted to make more money. Not just more money, but enough money to support myself and to be able to pay my bills, which an art school degree might not be able to support. I was going to study business first, then go back to art school later on... I was going to save up money from my "generic cubical job" to start a clothing business on the side as well as a few other businesses. If they became successful, I would quit my "day job" and focus full time on my businesses. Well, I've graduated, and so far, I have done nothing towards that and I am going further into "business school" by doing my Master's. Luckily, within the realm of business, I found that I like Marketing, and that Marketing, as well as Entrepreneurship which I studied, is probably going to help me the most in starting my own business. It is critical that I hold my goals and dreams intact and not forget about them as I go further into academia and later into the depths of the corporate world. I can't see these as mutually exclusive, because I think it's a smart choice. If I get a good-paying career, I can use that money to fund my business. Life is full of options. There is always the time after work and weekends. All I need to do is "plant the seed." As I type this, I could actually be setting up a "rough draft" website for one of these businesses. And I can actually go ahead and start it. I don't have to start out with my own clothes. I've always said I would have a site where I put products made from other people, and I slowly start introducing my own products. The only thing I need honestly is money, time, and knowledge. I just have to find out the manufacturers that make the things I want to sell and actually talk to them! And if they don't have drop shipping, I might have to actually buy in bulk and store it. For that I need money, which I intend to save with my "good corporate job." That last thing is how do I design something and have someone else make it, and then get it manufactured on a larger scale? I know fashion designers don't actually sew the clothes themselves, they just draw something on a piece of paper. I still need to get the basic knowledge though... I just need that one question answered... But I still would like to at least get a certificate in fashion design. Even if it's from an online school or a local college. I could even take "Fashion Design 101" by itself if I want.
All and all, my ultimate goal is not to work at all. I want to have my investments, savings, real estate, and businesses [run by managers] which all serve as my sources of income. I want the option to escape from the slavery of debt and bills. I want my income to cover at least my basic expenses and I only work if I want to, something part time and especially at night. I want to not have to leave my house for anything. I want my groceries and everything delivered to my house. I will pay everything, conduct business, resolve things online or by phone. I want to only go out if I want to for leisure.
I really need to "unpause" my life and get on with it, I'm not getting any younger.
[Writing my thoughts out like this is really cathartic and helps me organize what's going through my head, I should do it more often.]
Just got an app for Blogger to post via my iPhone.
--Posted via BlogPress app
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
Hop up out the bed turn my swag on
Pay no attention to them haters cuz we whip em off
and we ain't doing nothing wrong
so don't tell me nothing, i'm just tryna have fun
so keep the party jumping
so whats up (yea)
And I'll be doing what to do
we turn our back
and whip our hair and just shake them off
shake them off, shake them off,shake them off
Don't let haters keep me off my grind
Keep my head up i know I'll be fine
Keep fighting until i get there
When i'm down and i feel like giving up i think again
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I'ma get more shine than a little bit
Soon as i hit the stage applause im hearing it
whether its black stars black hearts im feeling it
but can't none of them whip it like i do
I, i gets it in mmmm yea i go hard
when they see me pull up i whip it real hard
i whip it real hard,real hard,i whip it real hard
Don't let haters keep me off my grind
Keep my head up i know I'll be fine
Keep fighting until i get there
When i'm down and i feel like giving up i think again
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (ok, ok just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
All my Ladies if you feel me
do it do it whip your hair (whip your hair)
Don't matter if its long, short (long,short)
do it do it whip your hair (whip your hair)
All my Ladies if you feel me
come on do it do it whip your hair (whip your hair)
Don't matter if its long, short (long short)
do it do it whip your hair (your hair, your hair)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip my hair)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip my hair)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip my hair)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip...
This is a reference list I'm compiling of different people I like who talk about alternative history, conspiracy theories, philosophy, politics, spirituality, technology, etc.
Aaron Russo [America: Freedom to Facism]
Abraham Hicks
Alex Collier
Alex Grey
Alex Jones
ArchangelSandalphon Barbara Hand Clow
Ben Stewart [Esoteric Agenda]
Buddha Carl Johan Calleman
Colleen Thomas
Credo Mutwa
David Icke
David Wilcock
Deepak Chopra Drunvalo Melchizedek
Epictetus
Floyd Red Crow Westerman George Kavassilas
George Orwell
Graham Hancock
The Industry Exposed
Jacque Fresco [The Venus Project]
Jean Baudrillard
Jordan Maxwell
Michael Tsarion
Nicola Tesla
Noam Chomsky
Peggy Kane
Phillip Deere
Ra
Rael
Ramtha/JZ Knight [What the Bleep Do We Know?]
Ray Kurzweil
Rhonda Byrne [The Secret]
Robert Anton Wilson
Shift Happens
Sixto Paz
Stewart Swerdlow/Janet Swerdlow
Terence McKenna/Kathleen Harrison/Dennis McKenna
TheyLive2012
William Henry
*Note: These are my personal sources for my own reality.
Much of our data is spread around in your computer's folders and in different websites online. I have a goal of merging all of these and creating a personal "cloud" for myself. It will be accessible via laptop, iPhone, iPad, netbook, desktop, or any other device, mobile or otherwise. This includes accessing this cloud via a public computer whether in a library or computer lab or a friend's computer.
This cloud will serve as my exocortex, as my universe and my reality. It is my digital aura, my digital consciousness which I bring with me wherever I go. It is something which is constantly being added to continuously with ideas, goals, music, videos, achievements, blogs, files, bookmarks, etc. It is a record of my life.
Everything will be synced to my laptops, mobile devices, and online services on a continual basis. This way, regardless of where I add things, it will always be part of the cloud. Things like bookmarks and social profiles of mine, while not actual files, will be stored as links. This myCLOUD serves as a main portal to my digital reality.
myCLOUD will include:
[items in brackets are auxiliary services]
All of the files and documents which will normally be stored on my desktop [virtual filing cabinet, Evernote, OneNote]
All my online bookmarks [Xmarks, Delicious]
My to-do lists, goals, plans, etc. [Toodledo]
All my music [iPod, Last.fm, YouTube, Online Radio]
All my videos [YouTube]
My websites, blogs, and social networks
An inventory of all the items I own [IntelliScanner] and yet to own [Amazon wishlists]
This is pretty much partially what I'm already doing, I just want to write it all down, add to it, and be more cognizant about actually implementing it.
Sourcing_
I need to make a grand list of all my interests/curiosities, and for each list the following in relation to them:
[I should also take into account goals and ideas]
People
Websites
Books
Blogs
Articles
Merchandise
Other Media/Objects
Classes/Workshops
[Curiosities should be limited to "starting points" to read and evaluate if further information-acquisition is desired]
Organizing_
I want some kind of "Master List" of all of these things organized via bookmarks and backed up. Once this is fully organized, systematized, and double-checked for publishing, I will add them to a social bookmarking site.
Books and media will be added to my wishlists [which I should probably also compartmentalize and organize]. Also, I might finally buy a scanning system [http://bit.ly/a2HgxC] to keep an inventory of all my items and bridge the gap between unpurchased wishlist items and purchased items at home.
Blogs should be converted to RSS feeds. I should have a "master list" of RSS feeds for every compartment of information that I want to stay informed about. Of course, I will regularly evaluate this to cut redundancy.
I should create a schedule to read all these articles and books [?]
Possibly, I should have a "pending" folder for all of these websites/information sources before I "consume" them, deconstruct them, and turn them into further information sources/links/blogs.
Reconciliation_
Subsequently, when this is put into a system, I will need to figure out a way to absorb, compile, and reconcile this data into my life memeplex, and regurgitate it back into society via blogs, vlogs, personal sites, and status updates/posts on social networks. These ideas can be "forwarded" as is or expounded on with with my own views and ideas. I will later decide if I want to "dedicate" myself into a certain area of interest and decide whether I want to create a site, page, blog, etc. for it [like SFLGIS]. This should also be integrated with my business aspirations, which are also "creations" based on a memeplex.
Philosophy_
Finally, I can reconcile all of these different aspects into a singular "reality style" and life philosophy. It will be integrated to my online and offline identity [ensuring that both of these identities are also reconciled]. This "reality style" and life philosophy will be regularly built upon via musings and blog entries which address different aspects of life, including my answers to the typical existential questions. Maybe I can name this memeplex later in the process. I hope I can influence others as well...
Also, I need to work on my own personal website [aside from social networking profiles] which ties all of my online endeavors to one site.
This doesn't fit in a status update, but I want to document it...
The mixed anxiety of moving practically tomorrow and having friends sent to the hospital a few days ago has me physically ill. I was reading about a anxiety and it's something physiological as well as psychological. I've been feeling like this physically even before I could process what was going on in my brain. At least I finally know what's wrong. I was taking Pepto-Bismol, Alka-Seltzer, and Gas-X. What I needed is something to calm my nerves. And now that I know it's anxiety, I am starting to feel anxious. FML
And it's so weird all of it is subconscious. Consciously I'm glad I'm moving and I'm already relieved everyone is ok.
I just read this blog post: "The Creativity Crisis" http://science.slashdot.org/story/10/07/11/1159241/The-Creativity-Crisis
I've known this all along. This article states that ever since the 90's creativity has gone down. Although at the same time IQ has been going up. I think that this shows there is a relationship between information and creativity. The more information there is, while we may be smarter, there is no longer any more room to create, for creativity. Everything has been done before. We live in a postmodern society where there's nothing left to do; any idea you have you can just Google it and it has already been thought of. People don't have the incentive to be creative, to create. We have too many distractions. We have so many things polluting our minds and we don't have the memory or capacity to be creative. It doesn't fit into our daily lives. We live in a society of information overload, there's so much information out there, it's impossible to consume. We suffer from plentitude. We don't know what to do. We don't know what to consume. We don't know what to believe and there's just so much that we can't decide. Every year something like several petrabytes or something which is equivalent to several Library of Congresses is produced. Just imagine in a lifetime how much information is produced not to mention the information already exists from the past. At the same time, we have multi-national, multibillion dollar corporations vua every form of media telling us what to think, what to wear, what information we need to store in our minds. We have religious institutions, educational institutions, and society as a whole which includes parents and friends, all at the same time fighting for our mind. I suggest that we take control and decide what information we are going to select. What path, what information, what bytes are we going to select throughout our lifetime in the universe of information that is out there (which we can never even dream to consume in our lifetime). It's best to select a very small portion of it which you have control over, which aligns with who you are. Think if it as "reality art" (I'll have to go into that another day).
So do you want someone else to be control of your mind?
I saw this movie, where it had the typical "James Dean" archetype. He was handsome and brooding. He was mysterious. He was "against the world" but wasn't really sure what he was all about. It "seemed" like he was smart.
This is BS. I don't know why so many people fall for these types and I don't know why the media puts this archetype on a pedestal.
They are not "mysterious" and "smart." They don't hold some kind of "secret truth to the universe." They don't open their mouth because they have nothing to say and don't know anything.
These people barely contribute anything to society. They just run around life like a lost soul, confused.
People are drawn to them because they want to know what's their secret, what makes them tick. Or they feel bad that they have so much potential and they are so smart and do nothing with their life. We want to guide them and help them, the whole "mother theresa" complex.
I think they are idiots and should be left to rot. If they can't make due for themselves, then they are worthless.
We should be careful and stay away from these types. It's hard with their charm and their mystery, it's like a vacuum sucking you in. But it's a joke.
Anyone can pull it off. Just answer questions with vague answers. Don't talk. Don't give your opinion. Have "lost" puppy dog eyes all the time. Intermittently complain about something about society or about the world with some short phrase, but don't go too much in depth. Surround yourself with books and poems which you might not even understand yourself, etc.'
Had a dream where I was in a building with one central circular building connected to four other circular rooms. All symmetrical. This was my "workplace." Two upper- level manager were talking and they decided to send everyone home en masse because it was late and there were no customers. One of the managers, the one that was under the other manager, took over for the remainder of the shift by logging into a main terminal and shutting down the four rooms. I later found my sister(?) was doing the overnight shift taking over the same thing the other manager was doing. I told her what was going on and she told me they called her in and she had to press a button on the terminal every 1 hour to simulate activity. She told me if this was not done that it would set off an alarm that something was wrong. The place ran like one giant system, like clockwork 24/7. I told her that the other idiot manager was supposed to turn it off and probably didn’t know how to and just called her in to do that. So I was trying to help her figure out how to shut it down until the morning… It’s a perfect metaphor for work. I had this dream after someone called out and I was calling around all afternoon looking for a cover and then trying to figure out how I was going to get all the work done with my co-worker during tonight’s shift…
This is part of a project that I am writing, but I decided to change it or cut it out because it wasn't really relevant to my project, but I wanted to save it...
Fashion to me is a visual stimulant, a type of art, which can direct people to react in certain ways in correlation to the level of typicality. If the form of dress is atypical it causes a stronger reaction. It causes people to become aware and break from their routine or whatever they were thinking about, even if just for a few milliseconds. I believe that a person’s form of dress can question and destroy boundaries as to what was once thought “acceptable” or “common” in everyday society. It is a visual representation of “thinking outside the box.” I think that this is very positive in that it is a subliminal message to society that diversity exists and there is more than one way to do something. It is my hope that this kind of “message” serves as a motivation for someone who may have similar inclinations to express themselves in a similar manner which is personal to them, unrestrained from the fear and anxiety of being judged, because there is at least one other person that is doing the same. The more people that express themselves visually, the more people will hopefully become inspired to do the same, creating a domino effect.
Insufficient telecommunication device installed into SYSTEM drive. SYSTEM did not meet telecommunicative quota as defined by user. User cannot open file from SYSTEM software. File is not currently supported. [SYNCING ERROR] Could not update file.
For troubleshooting solutions click "Help."
[SYSTEM PROCESSING...]
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I haz graduating.
Just picked up my cap & gown, tickets, and some miscellaneous crap. Being suggested to buy more overpriced FIU merchandise to remember this moment.
It's bittersweet.
Just got out of a group meeting. Everyone with their internships, studying abroad, great resumes, social life, etc. We had to do mock interviews. Everyone was professional and well-spoken. I was awkward.
I am TRYING not to regret this. I am trying to not regret that I didn't get the "full experience" out of college and all that BS. And that I'm "different" and that I'm not "professional enough" and stupid crap.
I just wish I could be more professional when I talk. I hate the way I talk, but I like it. I don't know. It's not bad, I like my monotony. But I just want that ability to speak professionally. I can only type that way.
Well now that I think about it. Fuck, I didn't want to go abroad, I thought about it. Different people, different language, may affect my grades. Fuck internships, they are paid labor and you know what? I want to be an entrepreneur, that's what I signed up for, not working for some marketing firm somewhere.
Envy/Feelings of not measuring up
Also, it's going to be almost 24 hours without sleep, so that's probably making me cranky.
If you can think a certain way, you will find that all the events in your life, even where you are now vs. two years ago and the things that pushed you to get there and couple that with where you're going and your intentions, it's striking to see how you are where you are and how it fits all together alongside your mindset and what you have planned for yourself. This creates .exe files that are spread out to the universe and that are executed at the right place in the right time to guide you to where you want to go. It brings people, places, ideas, opportunities, and experiences together so you can go where you have to go. And the TV and radio frequencies and commercial jingles, our whole SYSTEM, corporate, governmental, religious, they all have tapped into some aspect of this ethereal universal formula which they use in order to subliminally manipulate society for their own means. But I say that we each individually use this power to manipulate life into where we want it to go. Instead of manipulating this ethero-technical tool in order to guide people into purchasing a specific produce, skewing their mindsets to a specified bullet-point, or eliminating the who that they are and superimposing a pre-established belief/life system [these all happen at different extremes]. This is a very beautiful power and we all must figure out how to harness it. But we are mere humans and we will never know the full formula. The formula for God is understood by God itself alone. We can only strive to grasp a greater knowledge of a bigger piece of that formula. But as you do, you can manipulate certain variables in your life, x (society), m (philosophy), z (psychology), g (art), w (physiology), n (media), etc. in order to get the y that you want. You just need to figure out how to hack God.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sometimes, before you get started... You need to relax. If you have a few days off... relax. Enjoy your time off. Let yourself enjoy it and stop worrying about what you have to do. After you give yourself this time, you will be ready to do whatever you need to do. That's what happened with me. I never really just let myself enjoy my time off, I just kept worrying about how to fill it. I relaxed for about 2 days, enjoyed my time off, now it's time to get down to business, but in a good mood. :)
I use excuses such as my weight or my house not being clean in order to not experience life. "I can't do X, Y, or Z because I need to sleep" [although I am wide awake but I didn't sleep exactly 8 hours or I already slept enough but I feel a little drowsy]. I can't because...
But I don't want to experience life, so I don't do the things that are supposedly "blocking me" from doing so.
I don't update myself.
I stay in a constant state of immobility.
I want to finish certain things. I want to do certain things with myself, with my life. Those "certain things" are transition points to other "things" [like going out] that I am "allowed" to do once those other things are done.
I write lists and lists and lists about everything. I list everything I want to do, buy, go, see, eat, take, live, etc. I make to-do lists, many times the same to-do list just in different places [on paper, on Microsoft Word or Excel, online, on Twitter, on a blog, etc.]. I make list of all my goals. I spend hours and hours thinking of everything I have to do. Everything I want to do.
Then I do nothing.
I feel trapped.
Avolition lack of motivation lack of initiative
I know what I want but nothing motivates me...
This person suggests crystal meth: http://3.ly/v65w
Maybe that was the problem... A subconscious trap.
I am scared to or don't want to bother with experiencing life so I don't do the things which I tell myself are the "keys" to experience life. I put all these conditions of myself as to what I have to do before I am allowed to experience life.
I am not perfect, so I do not want to expose myself to society yet. I am not the perfect image of the person I want to be. I'm not eloquent or witty. I'm not in shape. I'm not debt-free. I have not reached the quota of material possessions in order to share objects with my peers.
I am not human. I am a machine. I am a receptacle of media and information. This product is still processing, it is not ready for the market. The product is still in R&D.
Software is barely functional. Can only run specific automated scripts. Cannot process new information.
Please do not begin the market segmentation phase yet, I am not ready.
I am the consumer. I am also the product. Compartmentalization of all of my every wants, needs, goals ,opinions, beliefs, actions into little boxes that fall ever so gracefully in the database of my mind. ABSOLUTE PERFECTION. The SYSTEM is inerrant and omniscient.
But I am still processing. Still in alpha, beta, gamma. Testing software on specific users.
I'm surprised I wrote this well four years ago... Although, I sound a bit desperate.
September 25, 2006
Ms. Garland Fuller Recruitment Consultant Zip Realty 6211 Cowpen St. Miami Lakes, FL 33014
Dear Ms. Fuller:
As I read through your ad on Yahoo! Hotjobs about the sales associate position, I felt as if I was the right fit for this company. I find the idea of working for a fast-paced, rapidly-expanding business such as yours to be very exciting. I still can’t believe how ZipRealty grew so much in just seven years! I would really like to contribute my skills, education, and ideas to your company’s growth. In this industry, I believe that the key to succeed is good customer service, and I am willing to do everything in my power to be dedicated to my clients and make sure that they are fully satisfied. I can be available at any time or day to take any questions or to go to any location that my client needs me. Not only can I be available in person, I can also be available online, I have high-speed internet at home and I am very computer literate. As a lifetime resident of South Florida, I have the area knowledge to make sure I can show my clients not only where a property is, but the best route to get there. I also have a current Florida real estate sales associate license and automobile insurance which is required for this job.
As you can see in my résumé, I am currently a business management major in Florida International University. I understand that being a Realtor is a small business in and of itself, and with classes such as Business Communications, Accounting, and Microeconomics, I have the proper skills to manage my business as a real estate agent. With my classes in Marketing and Web Design, you can be assured that I can also suitably market my business, not only in the real world, but in the virtual world as well. As a college student, I have had the experience of being organized, self-motivated, and setting my own goals. In juggling the needs of different classes at different deadlines, I know the value of time-management and hard work. These traits along with my desire to succeed allow me to consistently achieve my goals time after time. I am determined to hone these same qualities and skills for my job as a sales associate in your firm.
I would like to elaborate on how my skills and knowledge can benefit your company, so I would like to schedule an interview with you at the time most convenient for you. Please call me at any day between 11 am and 5 pm at (305) 232-5115. I am very enthused at the prospect of being a part of your team and I will be eagerly waiting for your call.
I always have to do these for school, so I wanted to post one for memories...
Kesley De Miranda
Major:
Management with Entrepreneurship Track and Marketing
Student Status:
Senior [final semester]
Working Status:
Working as Night Audit Assistant Manager at Shula's Hotel & Golf Club in Miami Lakes, FL. So far I've been working there for 2.5 years.
Hobbies:
Watching videos on YouTube
Checking Facebook and other social networking sites compulsively
Listening to music and constantly discovering new artists and subgenres
Reading a few blogs from my RSS or reading about any interesting topic or question that pops into my head
When I'm stressed or extremely bored I love to drive around aimlessly in the middle of the night with the speakers very loud
Used to love playing video games, but haven’t in a long time
TV is ok
Interests:
Technology: I love electronics, I can't wait to get my hands on the latest 3DHDTV and Tablet PC.
Conspiracy Theories: The everyday is just too boring for me, there has to be a twist.
Words: I used to love opening a random page of the dictionary and seeing what interesting words I would find.
Philosophy: Sometimes I spend hours just thinking about strange explanations for the universe and our reality.
Music: Electro, Goth, Industrial, New Wave, etc.
Movies: Cyperpunk, Paranormal/Supernatural, Documenatries, Tim Burton, Studio Ghibli.
Spirituality
Satire and Metahumor
Expectation from this course:
I expect to learn about Marketing Strategy... Honestly, I would like to keep an ear out for any information that will help me in starting my online business.
5-Year Goals:
Be at a better-paying job which I like
Have paid off all my debts
Have a savings account to save up for: emergencies [6 months of bills], down payment on a property, my business, and for material possessions.
Live in my own apartment
To have already established my own online business[es] on the side
