[Happy Anniversary]
[Birthday]

[Happy Anniversary]

I am a skyscraper

I am a skyscraper
eternally reaching for the sky.

New floors are being built every day
construction never ceases.

This project will not fail for any environmental protests or economic factors.

I am growing exponentially.

Soon I will touch the sky.

Soon I will surpass the sky and move on into space.

Interoffice Memo: Friendship Meeting Procedures

Effective immediately any social contact will occur in the following order [where relevant]:

[1] Misc. Online Community/Personals Site
[2] MySpace
[3] E-mail [optional]
[4] IM
[5] Phone
[6] Visitation

[Note: The starting point of this contact may vary.]

Forecast: Sex and Marriage With Robots by 2050

Finally...

read more | digg story

120 credit hours of school
Forty hours of work a week
Forty hours to finsh a video game
A half-hour episode
A three-hour movie
Over 100 hours of a TV series
77.8 years to live

[Does not compute]

Hotel-related Media

"Hotel Mario" video game

The hotels from Earthbound [default, Threed, and Moonside]

Inns and hotels from any RPG game

Inns and hotels from any other game [e.g. Sirena Beach from Super Mario Sunshine]

"Vacancy" movie

"The Suite Life of Zack & Cody"

Reminder: Alternatives for "cool" or "awesome"

I do not like using the words "cool" [or "awesome"], but I do so sometimes out of habit, since it is/was my "default" word.

This is a list of substitutes for those words:

nice

interesting

great

plusgood/doubleplusgood

neat

nifty

impressive

magnificent

[très] magnifique

approvable

terrific

excellent

stunning

remarkable

amazing [~]

wonderful [used with a smidgen of satire or sarcasm]

anti-warm[?]

inmoded [?]

[adjective signifying "indication of approval"]

dilemma #4-6024J.001

[sleep proposal rejected]

user has not met the criteria.

zzz.exe failed to load.

iPod/iPhone Wishlist

I'm debating whether or not to get a new iPhone and where I stand with iPods. Ever since the iPhone came out, there's no reason to get an iPod. The iPhone is like an iPod with phone capabilities. I have my cellphone and my iPod at all times with me, so it's best to just combine the two. But there are still some issues before I make the jump. There are also some capabilities that I wish to be added to the iPhone, for it to be the perfect product:

Online Radio

Satellite Radio

Custom Ringtones

Expanded selection for Ringtones [At least from the artists I want]

i need to [errand/goal #J-9927001.98AXMN to #J-9927029.07BVUI]

Labyrinth

I just finished seeing "Pan's Labyrinth."

[Possible Spoilers]

Is the fantasy world in "Pan's Labyrinth" real or is it imagined by Ofelia?

You can argue both sides. But maybe it's somewhere in the middle.
Maybe Ofelia was having paranormal, psychic experiences that were leading her to her fate. These other-worldly creatures, whether spirits, demons, or visions, took the form of fantastical creatures in Ofelia's mind, because that's what she was accustomed to from the books she read. Some things just had to happen in order for history to run its course and for everything to be right with the world. And she was a tool in that chain of events. Those entities or visions lead her to the inevitable.

I really related to her. Ofelia has this fantasy world which really contrasts with the cold, cruel reality. In spite of all the darkness and horror she witnesses, she wasn't really phased as much because she always had hope in the world she created for herself. In a time and a place where there is no technology and nothing to do to other than to endure the misery and monotony of her surroundings, she found sanity in her lack thereof. Even when she died she escaped to a beautiful fantastical kingdom where she was a princess reunited with her family.
This might not make sense, but I believe that the afterlife, what happens after people's death, is whatever they believe will happen to them.

I can relate to Ofelia because I'm the same way. While in the back of my head I am a skeptic and I know the world is made up of cruelty and monotony, I try to suppress those thoughts. Instead I make up my own reality and I make up my own world. I believe in things because they just are far more interesting to believe in than what's already there. I imbue everyday thoughts, objects, and events with life and make them real. I rearrange events and objects in my mind so that they have a far greater function and purpose than what they are really meant for. Sometimes, you can align things in such a way that it really feels as if you have this great purpose, like you are part of something, almost as if it were fate. I think that if you really believe in something so much, it eventually becomes true. You begin to filter everything that goes on through this reality you created for yourself, and everything falls into place. Ofelia's world wasn't necessarily a Utopian fantasy, it did include monsters, deceit, and such. Similarly, I like to revel in my paranoid and persecutory delusions.

It's funny to see things in an infinite number of different perspectives, to think "outside the box," then just look at everyone trapped in this reality they think they have no control over, and just smile complacently, because you have this knowledge that no one else has. People don't seem to realize that they have more control over their reality than they think they do. They just drudge along in their monotony, living life like a robot. I do find our mechanical [post]modernity/monotony to be beautiful in it's intricate, systematic, bureaucratic, imperfect perfection. But to appreciate this, you do have to step outside of it so you can see the full picture and how everything perfectly aligns and works together. I can step in and out of my reality and the world's collective reality whenever I want. But when I go back into "the real world," I can do so cognizant of how ridiculous/inferior it really is [at least in comparison to mine].

I did notice that eyes were a recurring theme in the movie. Ofelia had her own special, unique way of looking at the world through her eyes, while I have my own way of looking at things through my eyes.

So open your eyes, to your own reality.




P.S. It's really hard to make sense out of nonsense. It's hard to explain or even understand myself sometimes. Sometimes something "clicks" and it makes perfect sense, but I just can't put it into words and the more I try to explain it, the less sense it makes.

:)

This report goes to POLYANNA.

my_life_is_a_black_pit_of_nothingness

[life_protocol failed to execute]
[User POLYANNA not found]
[loading my_life_is_a_black_pit_of_nothingness.exe]

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[system phase ACCEPTANCE initializing...]

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My mimicry is not as overt as that of others.
I am not pretentious.

loss of faith / loss of innocence

when i was younger i believed in god
i prayed to him everyday
i imagined him looking over me in the sky



i stopped believing in god when i was 17
i had prayed to god
i prayed really hard
i asked god to mail me in my new visa credit card by sunday

sunday came and went
monday came and went
tuesday came and went

but i called in and they told me that it would take 5-10 business days



that's when i lost my faith in god

corporeal litigation

The box of Fruity Pebbles&reg cereal and assorted Nabisco&reg cookies are the only witnesses to my suicide.

No one will ever know. No one will ever care.

30 years of perpetual juxtapositions, and for what?

We're sorry, but there was an error
We're sorry, but there was an [t]error

Nameless entities accompany me in my dreams.
They tell me what to say to my mailman on Sunday mornings.
They tell me what to copy and paste into my W-4.
They tell me what to be in January's school play.



And I don't know what to say to her anymore. It's like...

But then they went to the.

I found out that the neighbor had stored his.



Logan's car had rammed against the tree, a metaphor for Vietnam's position in the Cold War.








But I don't want to go to the go to the go to the go to the go to the go to the go to the go to the go to the

hhhhhhhhhhhhh










It is said that one should not cross one's.


sentenceFRAGMENT
[It's all I will ever amount to.]


vxdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddv


lllllllllllll;l;


sleep

Musings

In the midst of the current state of the world I begin to question myself and society as a whole. I begin to dream of a better place, a place where it is safe and idyllic. And I wonder to myself, what it is that concerns so many out there.

I would like you to become a charitable contribution to humanity. Our victims and martyrs are all over the world holding hands and trying to figure out why you don't return their calls. It deafens me like a metronome of death.

A television screen flickering at 4:33 am, nothing on, another dead star.
A new model #X-9964.9D SUPER DELUXE 3000.
More shoes, toys, and junk food. Tiles and life insurance on sale.

I love this place and I will never sleep a day without my papyric accreditations.

The cat went to the kitchen and ate the tuna that I left on top of the counter.
I think that this is a sign of things to come.
I think everything will work out right.
I think... I can be happy again...

[EMPTY]

Today I went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk. But as I went to pour the little milk that was left, it fell and spilled all over the kitchen floor. I was just too numb to cry.

I began to stare at the Quality Farms® gallon of milk... just sitting there... empty.
I realized how much it represented the emptiness in my life.

As I carved the word "EMPTY" into my numb arms, I began to think about the production cycle of milk and how it was a perfect metaphor of my life. The milk is just extracted from a cow in a box, processed, inserted into a gallon of milk, sent to a warehouse, sent to a store, bought, consumed, and thrown away.

I am empty.
I am disposable.


I am just another generic gallon of milk...

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My computer is working.

My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.
My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working. My computer is working.

Today

Well today I hung out with my friends Maurice and Shannon in the mall.
I went to the store and I bought some pants which were on sale.
Then we went to go to eat at Wendy's and I ate a #5.
We talked about the weather and our favorite TV shows.
Then they went to my house and we played Super Mario Kart.
It was really fun.

I think Shannon has a crush on Kevin, but she won't admit it.
I think Maurice is a pretty cool guy.

But Jan, you don't have any friends.
But Jan, you don't have any friends.
But Jan, you don't have any friends.
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