Tuesday, February 23, 2010

avolitionist

I use excuses such as my weight or my house not being clean in order to not experience life. 
"I can't do X, Y, or Z because I need to sleep" [although I am wide awake but I didn't sleep exactly 8 hours or I already slept enough but I feel a little drowsy].
I can't because...

But I don't want to experience life, so  I don't do the things that are supposedly "blocking me" from doing so. 

I don't update myself.

I stay in a constant state of immobility.

I want to finish certain things.  I want to do certain things with myself, with my life.
Those "certain things" are transition points to other "things" [like going out] that I am "allowed" to do once those other things are done.

I write lists and lists and lists about everything.
I list everything I want to do, buy, go, see, eat, take, live, etc.  I make to-do lists, many times the same to-do list just in different places [on paper, on Microsoft Word or Excel, online, on Twitter, on a blog, etc.].  I make list of all my goals.  I spend hours and hours thinking of everything I have to do.  Everything I want to do.  

Then I do nothing.

I feel trapped. 

Avolition
lack of motivation
lack of initiative

I know what I want but nothing motivates me...

This person suggests crystal meth:
http://3.ly/v65w

Maybe that was the problem...  A subconscious trap. 

I am scared to or don't want to bother with experiencing life so I don't do the things which I tell myself are the "keys" to experience life.  I put all these conditions of myself as to what I have to do before I am allowed to experience life.

I am not perfect, so I do not want to expose myself to society yet.
I am not the perfect image of the person I want to be.  I'm not eloquent or witty.  I'm not in shape.  I'm not debt-free.  I have not reached the quota of material possessions in order to share objects with my peers.


I am not human.
I am a machine.
I am a receptacle of media and information.
This product is still processing, it is not ready for the market.
The product is still in R&D.

Software is barely functional.  Can only run specific automated scripts.  Cannot process new information. 

Please do not begin the market segmentation phase yet, I am not ready. 

I am the consumer.  I am also the product.  Compartmentalization of all of my every wants, needs, goals ,opinions, beliefs, actions into little boxes that fall ever so gracefully in the database of my mind.  ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.  The SYSTEM is inerrant and omniscient.

But I am still processing.  Still in alpha, beta, gamma.
Testing software on specific users.

Release Date: TBA

Monday, February 1, 2010

Cover Letter Assignment from September 2006


I'm surprised I wrote this well four years ago...
Although, I sound a bit desperate.



September 25, 2006

Ms. Garland Fuller
Recruitment Consultant
Zip Realty
6211 Cowpen St.
Miami Lakes, FL 33014

Dear Ms. Fuller:

As I read through your ad on Yahoo! Hotjobs about the sales associate position, I felt as if I was the right fit for this company. I find the idea of working for a fast-paced, rapidly-expanding business such as yours to be very exciting. I still can’t believe how ZipRealty grew so much in just seven years! I would really like to contribute my skills, education, and ideas to your company’s growth. In this industry, I believe that the key to succeed is good customer service, and I am willing to do everything in my power to be dedicated to my clients and make sure that they are fully satisfied. I can be available at any time or day to take any questions or to go to any location that my client needs me. Not only can I be available in person, I can also be available online, I have high-speed internet at home and I am very computer literate. As a lifetime resident of South Florida, I have the area knowledge to make sure I can show my clients not only where a property is, but the best route to get there. I also have a current Florida real estate sales associate license and automobile insurance which is required for this job.

As you can see in my résumé, I am currently a business management major in Florida International University. I understand that being a Realtor is a small business in and of itself, and with classes such as Business Communications, Accounting, and Microeconomics, I have the proper skills to manage my business as a real estate agent. With my classes in Marketing and Web Design, you can be assured that I can also suitably market my business, not only in the real world, but in the virtual world as well. As a college student, I have had the experience of being organized, self-motivated, and setting my own goals. In juggling the needs of different classes at different deadlines, I know the value of time-management and hard work. These traits along with my desire to succeed allow me to consistently achieve my goals time after time. I am determined to hone these same qualities and skills for my job as a sales associate in your firm.

I would like to elaborate on how my skills and knowledge can benefit your company, so I would like to schedule an interview with you at the time most convenient for you. Please call me at any day between 11 am and 5 pm at (305) 232-5115. I am very enthused at the prospect of being a part of your team and I will be eagerly waiting for your call.

Sincerely,

Kesley De Miranda