avolitionist

I use excuses such as my weight or my house not being clean in order to not experience life. 
"I can't do X, Y, or Z because I need to sleep" [although I am wide awake but I didn't sleep exactly 8 hours or I already slept enough but I feel a little drowsy].
I can't because...

But I don't want to experience life, so  I don't do the things that are supposedly "blocking me" from doing so. 

I don't update myself.

I stay in a constant state of immobility.

I want to finish certain things.  I want to do certain things with myself, with my life.
Those "certain things" are transition points to other "things" [like going out] that I am "allowed" to do once those other things are done.

I write lists and lists and lists about everything.
I list everything I want to do, buy, go, see, eat, take, live, etc.  I make to-do lists, many times the same to-do list just in different places [on paper, on Microsoft Word or Excel, online, on Twitter, on a blog, etc.].  I make list of all my goals.  I spend hours and hours thinking of everything I have to do.  Everything I want to do.  

Then I do nothing.

I feel trapped. 

Avolition
lack of motivation
lack of initiative

I know what I want but nothing motivates me...

This person suggests crystal meth:
http://3.ly/v65w

Maybe that was the problem...  A subconscious trap. 

I am scared to or don't want to bother with experiencing life so I don't do the things which I tell myself are the "keys" to experience life.  I put all these conditions of myself as to what I have to do before I am allowed to experience life.

I am not perfect, so I do not want to expose myself to society yet.
I am not the perfect image of the person I want to be.  I'm not eloquent or witty.  I'm not in shape.  I'm not debt-free.  I have not reached the quota of material possessions in order to share objects with my peers.


I am not human.
I am a machine.
I am a receptacle of media and information.
This product is still processing, it is not ready for the market.
The product is still in R&D.

Software is barely functional.  Can only run specific automated scripts.  Cannot process new information. 

Please do not begin the market segmentation phase yet, I am not ready. 

I am the consumer.  I am also the product.  Compartmentalization of all of my every wants, needs, goals ,opinions, beliefs, actions into little boxes that fall ever so gracefully in the database of my mind.  ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.  The SYSTEM is inerrant and omniscient.

But I am still processing.  Still in alpha, beta, gamma.
Testing software on specific users.

Release Date: TBA