The word of the day is "rut"

Yes, I think that's the word I was looking for, "rut."

I'm just so tired of school, and I know that's it's going to end, but I don't feel like doing anything. I'm just so tired of everything. Nothing ever happens in my life. (Okay, that's not true, something really good is happening in my life.. and it looks like it's something positive, I just want it to start happening already!)

I've slept through all of yesterday, and I was going to sleep through all of today, but luckily a friend caled and pulled me out.

I'm sleepy right now, I haven't done anything all day. I had a small quiz I had to do for one of my classes. I had to read three chapters, about 60 pages from some reading book. Now, do I spend all day reading, or do I just guess? It's only worth 2% of my grade, big deal, and I can guess half the questions.

Now I have a project for Marketing which is due Monday night, but I want to do it by Sunday night. But I just haven't felt like doing it all day. As I type this, my Marketing book is sitting next to me, mocking me, like some kind of joke.

I've been in a creative rut. I have no creativity whatsoever. Although, I attempted drawing a bit. Maybe it's just that I'm not having the usual media of "creativity," as in "ideas" and my stupid "philosophies." And as you can see, I have apparently lost my ability to write too. I'm not thinking anymore. The usual observations I have are just not coming to me. I used to have these make-shift ideas of how the world worked, but my dellusions have faded and I'm just seeing the ugly reality for what it really is, instead of just making my own.

Fuck that, I don't like this reality...

I MAKE MY OWN REALITY!


[Kesley's reality processing] (again)

Hopefully it doesn't fail to load like it has been for the past 2 weeks.