Dissociative Identity Disorder

I just finished watching "Sybil" (well 3/4 of it).
It was a great movie.
Sybil has such a nice personality. She's really interesting. And she is good at talking and she thinks fast. Like that mom from the Gilmore Girls.

I can't help to think that maybe I've had a lost personality from my past, or maybe we all have.
Maybe, we have certain personalities with certain skills and preferences, and we just lose them as time passes by and gain new personalities in their places.

Before, I used to be a more "left-brained" person. I was good in math, I was always organized, I did everything on time. That personality also liked reading. Now I'm the complete opposite, I'm more spontaneous, I loathe math, I'm more creative, I'm less organized, and I can't concentrate when it comes to reading. My more left-brained personality just left one day, and I don't know how to get back in contact with him. It would really help with Calculus.
Just like with Sybil, if I could get into contact with this personality it would help me cope with some aspects of life, just like she had to "unite" all of her different personalities to use in her life for different situations.

People with disassociative identity disorder have a fragmented personality and different fragments emerge at different times. Maybe everyone has this, they just lose a fragment, but they just don't know how to "trigger" that fragment (directly or indirectly).

I know, I'm full of these preposterous theories, but I think thinking of things in differently helps me cope with life better.

I don't know, but I have something. I may not be psychotic, but I'm pretty sure I'm neurotic in some ways.
For example, I have a phobia of cutting my hair. (But maybe with my recent haircut it went away. Let's see.)
I'm always anxious about a lot of things, about everything. I just think the worse and I overwhelm myself a lot.
I make a lot of lists of things that I have or want to do, but I never do anything. I list so many things that I have to do that I get too overwhelmed and never do anything. I start by listing what I have to do within the next few days, then within the next few weeks, then what I would like to do in a few months, and then my goals for the coming years and the future. And each item in the list isn't even a specific task I can check off, they're things like "read all of the books you have around the house" or "lose weight" or "organize everything in your room."
And everything I want to do, I want to do it perfect, something that I can't attain because it doesn't exist. So it's this never-ending, self-defeating cycle because I overwhelm myself with a myriad of vague tasks that I want to do, each of them perfectly, and I would just never finish half of them.
I also have these twitches, and make these spontaneous decisions. And I sometimes act weird...
But I love all of my eccentricities.
Also, my mom has nerve problems. She has to take pills. A lot of times she gets scared, nervous, or anxious. Other times she feels dizzy, without energy, and just generally sick in one way or another. So maybe I got something from her, we're similar in a lot of ways.
She had a bad upbringing; her mom was very strict and unfair. She made her clean the entire house everyday after school and would even wake her up from her sleep if she didn't finish something. She would tell my mom that she would do something for her, then just change her mind without giving a reason. That's what she did with my mom's license, and she had to end up getting it on her own at age 19. With a lot of things she made rash decisions and wouldn’t give my mom more than the explanation of “because I’m your mother.“ That's just the tip of the iceberg. And all of this was psychologically damaging for her.

Ironically, after I finished watching "Sybil," I went to my mom's room, and she had awoken scared from her sleep. She felt like everything was out of control. I sat next to her and tried to comfort her until she went back to sleep.

I want to try to be successful and make good money so I can give my mom everything she was unable to get during her childhood. And just so she could be happy and have some kind of solace in her life to make up for her past.


Addendum (08/24/05):

Another reason I might suspect I'm insane is because, a lot of times, I get into debates with people and they say that what I'm saying is illogical, but I can't see why.

Also, I notice I'm like "two different [sometimes even opposite] people" at different times.
I notice I'm different in the afternoon when I wake up than in the late night before I go to sleep. I'm more calm in the beginning of the day and I'm more emotional later in the day.

But that's normal.
I actually think that all of those things are normal.
I don't really think I'm crazy, just a little "off" or neurotic.