Fuck James Dean

I saw this movie, where it had the typical "James Dean" archetype. He was handsome and brooding. He was mysterious. He was "against the world" but wasn't really sure what he was all about. It "seemed" like he was smart.

This is BS. I don't know why so many people fall for these types and I don't know why the media puts this archetype on a pedestal.

They are not "mysterious" and "smart." They don't hold some kind of "secret truth to the universe." They don't open their mouth because they have nothing to say and don't know anything.

These people barely contribute anything to society. They just run around life like a lost soul, confused.

People are drawn to them because they want to know what's their secret, what makes them tick. Or they feel bad that they have so much potential and they are so smart and do nothing with their life. We want to guide them and help them, the whole "mother theresa" complex.

I think they are idiots and should be left to rot. If they can't make due for themselves, then they are worthless.

We should be careful and stay away from these types. It's hard with their charm and their mystery, it's like a vacuum sucking you in. But it's a joke.

Anyone can pull it off. Just answer questions with vague answers. Don't talk. Don't give your opinion. Have "lost" puppy dog eyes all the time. Intermittently complain about something about society or about the world with some short phrase, but don't go too much in depth. Surround yourself with books and poems which you might not even understand yourself, etc.'

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

TEST

Posting to LJ via an iPhone app.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

[clock]WORK

Had a dream where I was in a building with one central circular building connected to four other circular rooms. All symmetrical. This was my "workplace." Two upper- level manager were talking and they decided to send everyone home en masse because it was late and there were no customers. One of the managers, the one that was under the other manager, took over for the remainder of the shift by logging into a main terminal and shutting down the four rooms. I later found my sister(?) was doing the overnight shift taking over the same thing the other manager was doing. I told her what was going on and she told me they called her in and she had to press a button on the terminal every 1 hour to simulate activity. She told me if this was not done that it would set off an alarm that something was wrong. The place ran like one giant system, like clockwork 24/7. I told her that the other idiot manager was supposed to turn it off and probably didn’t know how to and just called her in to do that. So I was trying to help her figure out how to shut it down until the morning…
It’s a perfect metaphor for work.
I had this dream after someone called out and I was calling around all afternoon looking for a cover and then trying to figure out how I was going to get all the work done with my co-worker during tonight’s shift…

Fashion

This is part of a project that I am writing, but I decided to change it or cut it out because it wasn't really relevant to my project, but I wanted to save it...

Fashion to me is a visual stimulant, a type of art, which can direct people to react in certain ways in correlation to the level of typicality. If the form of dress is atypical it causes a stronger reaction. It causes people to become aware and break from their routine or whatever they were thinking about, even if just for a few milliseconds. I believe that a person’s form of dress can question and destroy boundaries as to what was once thought “acceptable” or “common” in everyday society. It is a visual representation of “thinking outside the box.” I think that this is very positive in that it is a subliminal message to society that diversity exists and there is more than one way to do something. It is my hope that this kind of “message” serves as a motivation for someone who may have similar inclinations to express themselves in a similar manner which is personal to them, unrestrained from the fear and anxiety of being judged, because there is at least one other person that is doing the same. The more people that express themselves visually, the more people will hopefully become inspired to do the same, creating a domino effect.

SYSTEM LOG #040620100853

Insufficient telecommunication device installed into SYSTEM drive.
SYSTEM did not meet telecommunicative quota as defined by user.
User cannot open file from SYSTEM software.
File is not currently supported.
[SYNCING ERROR]
Could not update file.

For troubleshooting solutions click "Help."

[SYSTEM PROCESSING...]

I haz graduating.

Just picked up my cap & gown, tickets, and some miscellaneous crap.
Being suggested to buy more overpriced FIU merchandise to remember this moment.

It's bittersweet.

Just got out of a group meeting. Everyone with their internships, studying abroad, great resumes, social life, etc. We had to do mock interviews. Everyone was professional and well-spoken. I was awkward.

I am TRYING not to regret this. I am trying to not regret that I didn't get the "full experience" out of college and all that BS. And that I'm "different" and that I'm not "professional enough" and stupid crap.

I just wish I could be more professional when I talk. I hate the way I talk, but I like it. I don't know. It's not bad, I like my monotony. But I just want that ability to speak professionally. I can only type that way.

Well now that I think about it. Fuck, I didn't want to go abroad, I thought about it. Different people, different language, may affect my grades. Fuck internships, they are paid labor and you know what? I want to be an entrepreneur, that's what I signed up for, not working for some marketing firm somewhere.

Envy/Feelings of not measuring up

Also, it's going to be almost 24 hours without sleep, so that's probably making me cranky.

Is God a mathematical formula?

If you can think a certain way, you will find that all the events in your life, even where you are now vs. two years ago and the things that pushed you to get there and couple that with where you're going and your intentions, it's striking to see how you are where you are and how it fits all together alongside your mindset and what you have planned for yourself. This creates .exe files that are spread out to the universe and that are executed at the right place in the right time to guide you to where you want to go. It brings people, places, ideas, opportunities, and experiences together so you can go where you have to go. And the TV and radio frequencies and commercial jingles, our whole SYSTEM, corporate, governmental, religious, they all have tapped into some aspect of this ethereal universal formula which they use in order to subliminally manipulate society for their own means. But I say that we each individually use this power to manipulate life into where we want it to go. Instead of manipulating this ethero-technical tool in order to guide people into purchasing a specific produce, skewing their mindsets to a specified bullet-point, or eliminating the who that they are and superimposing a pre-established belief/life system [these all happen at different extremes]. This is a very beautiful power and we all must figure out how to harness it. But we are mere humans and we will never know the full formula. The formula for God is understood by God itself alone. We can only strive to grasp a greater knowledge of a bigger piece of that formula. But as you do, you can manipulate certain variables in your life, x (society), m (philosophy), z (psychology), g (art), w (physiology), n (media), etc. in order to get the y that you want. You just need to figure out how to hack God.

Sometimes, before you get started... You need to relax. If you have a few days off... relax. Enjoy your time off. Let yourself enjoy it and stop worrying about what you have to do. After you give yourself this time, you will be ready to do whatever you need to do. That's what happened with me. I never really just let myself enjoy my time off, I just kept worrying about how to fill it. I relaxed for about 2 days, enjoyed my time off, now it's time to get down to business, but in a good mood. :)

Vanity Fair: A Batty Free Market & Gothic Tea Party

Event info:
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Add Us:
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avolitionist

I use excuses such as my weight or my house not being clean in order to not experience life. 
"I can't do X, Y, or Z because I need to sleep" [although I am wide awake but I didn't sleep exactly 8 hours or I already slept enough but I feel a little drowsy].
I can't because...

But I don't want to experience life, so  I don't do the things that are supposedly "blocking me" from doing so. 

I don't update myself.

I stay in a constant state of immobility.

I want to finish certain things.  I want to do certain things with myself, with my life.
Those "certain things" are transition points to other "things" [like going out] that I am "allowed" to do once those other things are done.

I write lists and lists and lists about everything.
I list everything I want to do, buy, go, see, eat, take, live, etc.  I make to-do lists, many times the same to-do list just in different places [on paper, on Microsoft Word or Excel, online, on Twitter, on a blog, etc.].  I make list of all my goals.  I spend hours and hours thinking of everything I have to do.  Everything I want to do.  

Then I do nothing.

I feel trapped. 

Avolition
lack of motivation
lack of initiative

I know what I want but nothing motivates me...

This person suggests crystal meth:
http://3.ly/v65w

Maybe that was the problem...  A subconscious trap. 

I am scared to or don't want to bother with experiencing life so I don't do the things which I tell myself are the "keys" to experience life.  I put all these conditions of myself as to what I have to do before I am allowed to experience life.

I am not perfect, so I do not want to expose myself to society yet.
I am not the perfect image of the person I want to be.  I'm not eloquent or witty.  I'm not in shape.  I'm not debt-free.  I have not reached the quota of material possessions in order to share objects with my peers.


I am not human.
I am a machine.
I am a receptacle of media and information.
This product is still processing, it is not ready for the market.
The product is still in R&D.

Software is barely functional.  Can only run specific automated scripts.  Cannot process new information. 

Please do not begin the market segmentation phase yet, I am not ready. 

I am the consumer.  I am also the product.  Compartmentalization of all of my every wants, needs, goals ,opinions, beliefs, actions into little boxes that fall ever so gracefully in the database of my mind.  ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.  The SYSTEM is inerrant and omniscient.

But I am still processing.  Still in alpha, beta, gamma.
Testing software on specific users.

Release Date: TBA

Cover Letter Assignment from September 2006

I'm surprised I wrote this well four years ago...
Although, I sound a bit desperate.

---

September 25, 2006

Ms. Garland Fuller
Recruitment Consultant
Zip Realty
6211 Cowpen St.
Miami Lakes, FL 33014

Dear Ms. Fuller:

As I read through your ad on Yahoo! Hotjobs about the sales associate position, I felt as if I was the right fit for this company. I find the idea of working for a fast-paced, rapidly-expanding business such as yours to be very exciting. I still can’t believe how ZipRealty grew so much in just seven years! I would really like to contribute my skills, education, and ideas to your company’s growth. In this industry, I believe that the key to succeed is good customer service, and I am willing to do everything in my power to be dedicated to my clients and make sure that they are fully satisfied. I can be available at any time or day to take any questions or to go to any location that my client needs me. Not only can I be available in person, I can also be available online, I have high-speed internet at home and I am very computer literate. As a lifetime resident of South Florida, I have the area knowledge to make sure I can show my clients not only where a property is, but the best route to get there. I also have a current Florida real estate sales associate license and automobile insurance which is required for this job.

As you can see in my résumé, I am currently a business management major in Florida International University. I understand that being a Realtor is a small business in and of itself, and with classes such as Business Communications, Accounting, and Microeconomics, I have the proper skills to manage my business as a real estate agent. With my classes in Marketing and Web Design, you can be assured that I can also suitably market my business, not only in the real world, but in the virtual world as well. As a college student, I have had the experience of being organized, self-motivated, and setting my own goals. In juggling the needs of different classes at different deadlines, I know the value of time-management and hard work. These traits along with my desire to succeed allow me to consistently achieve my goals time after time. I am determined to hone these same qualities and skills for my job as a sales associate in your firm.

I would like to elaborate on how my skills and knowledge can benefit your company, so I would like to schedule an interview with you at the time most convenient for you. Please call me at any day between 11 am and 5 pm at (305) 232-5115. I am very enthused at the prospect of being a part of your team and I will be eagerly waiting for your call.

Sincerely,

Kesley De Miranda

Student Homepage for MAN 4804: Marketing Strategy; Spring 2010

I always have to do these for school, so I wanted to post one for memories...

---

Kesley De Miranda

Major:

Management with Entrepreneurship Track and Marketing

Student Status:

Senior [final semester]

Working Status:

Working as Night Audit Assistant Manager at Shula's Hotel & Golf Club in Miami Lakes, FL. So far I've been working there for 2.5 years.

Hobbies:

• Watching videos on YouTube


• Checking Facebook and other social networking sites compulsively


• Listening to music and constantly discovering new artists and subgenres


• Reading a few blogs from my RSS or reading about any interesting topic or question that pops into my head


• When I'm stressed or extremely bored I love to drive around aimlessly in the middle of the night with the speakers very loud


• Used to love playing video games, but haven’t in a long time


• TV is ok

Interests:

• Technology: I love electronics, I can't wait to get my hands on the latest 3DHDTV and Tablet PC.


• Conspiracy Theories: The everyday is just too boring for me, there has to be a twist.


• Words: I used to love opening a random page of the dictionary and seeing what interesting words I would find.


• Philosophy: Sometimes I spend hours just thinking about strange explanations for the universe and our reality.


• Music: Electro, Goth, Industrial, New Wave, etc.


• Movies: Cyperpunk, Paranormal/Supernatural, Documenatries, Tim Burton, Studio Ghibli.


• Spirituality


• Satire and Metahumor

Expectation from this course:

I expect to learn about Marketing Strategy... Honestly, I would like to keep an ear out for any information that will help me in starting my online business.

5-Year Goals:

• Be at a better-paying job which I like


• Have paid off all my debts


• Have a savings account to save up for: emergencies [6 months of bills], down payment on a property, my business, and for material possessions.


• Live in my own apartment


• To have already established my own online business[es] on the side


• To be in shape


• Quit smoking


• To create music and art

Links to Two favorite web sites:

• Mashable


• Last.fm

My Social Networking Profiles:

• Facebook


• Twitter


• MySpace

User Blocked

So I had this dream that when you blocked someone on Facebook, you do not only block them online, but also in real life. I had someone blocked and they couldn't see me and I couldn't see them. We were invisible to eachother. So I was having a conversation with one of our mutual friends, and we were sitting in a group. I was talking to them about the problems I was having with this person. And the actual person was sitting right there and I didn't even know it. I realized it later when I was speaking to my sister and she pointed it out to me. But they couldn't hear me only what the other person was saying in reaction to what I said. But I was safe. I don't think he heard me and just assumed she was talking to someone.

Dream

>Shadow people in suits that were created from a virus and are not human
>Art installation in parking lot of different cars with funny license plates and objects inside representing the type of person who drives the car. e.g. "Jerk" with expensive car.
>Got mad because sister bought an $80 cell phone in Wal-mart and it was this red bulky flip phone that looked like an old model. I told her she could have bought a smaller, newer phone with the same money.
>Was living in a house with my parents and sister. I snuck Laz into my room and he was hiding in the closet in between the clothes. I left my room for a minute and my dad decided to "fix something" in the closet. Then he found Laz in the closet and got mad at me. He made me kick him out.

Gothic/Industrial Scene

Genres/Subgenres:
Gothic, Darkwave, Ethereal, Post Punk, Dark Cabaret, Deathrock, Gothabilly, Coldwave,
New Wave, Synthpop, Neoclassical, Steampunk, Dark Ambient, Aggrotech, Hellektro, TBM, Terror EBM,
Industrial, EBM, Powernoise, Electro, IDM, Noise, Musique concrète, Electro Industrial, Dark Electro, Elektro, Glitch, Industrial Metal, Martial Industrial, New Beat, Synthpunk,

Record Labels:
Projekt, 4AD, Cleopatra, Metropolis, Ant-Zen

Events:
The Kitchen, The MausoleuM, The Morgue, Defiance, Resistance, Bunkergate, Sanctuary, Legion, Fetish Factory, The Saint,

Styles:
Goth, Rivethead, Cybergoth, Cyberprep, Steampunk,
http://www.blackwaterfall.com/viewall.php

Artists:

Gothic:
45 Grave, Alien Sex Fiend, Ausgang, Bauhaus, Bella Morte, The Birthday Party, The Bolshoi, Christian Death, The Church, Clan of Xymox, Corpus Delicti, Cocteau Twins, Cranes, The Cure, The Damned, The Danse Society, Dead Can Dance, Diary of Dreams, Eva O, Faith and the Muse, Fields of the Nephilim, Gene Loves Jezebel, Gitane Demone, Joy Division, Kommunity FK, The Legendary Pink Dots, London After Midnight, Love And Rockets, Lycia, Mephisto Walz, Miranda Sex Garden, The Mission UK, Mors Syphilitica, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Nosferatu, Radio Werewolf, Rhea's Obsession, Rosetta Stone, Rozz Williams, Screams For Tina, Sex Gang Children, Shadow Project, The Shroud, Siouxsie & the Banshees, The Sisters of Mercy, Skeletal Family, Southern Death Cult, Specimen, Switchblade Symphony, This Mortal Coil, Tones on Tail, Virgin Prunes, The Wake, Xmal Deutschland

Indian Reservation

A few days ago I was a bit stressed and feeling down so I decided to drive around. It was at about 4am. I felt good, but as I always do in these trips, I wanted to go further than I did the last time. I stopped at an empty rest stop on the way, with just picnic tables and parking spaces. I layed on top of my car and looked at the stars. The light pollution of the city doesn't let you see any stars; it was beautiful. I ended up at the "Big Cypress Indian Reservation." I was driving down I-75 and I got down on the "Snake Road" exit by a Miccosukee gas station. Snake Road leads from the gas station from Miccosukee territory to Seminole territory.

I was about to turn back and get on the highway again. But I saw the road went the other way. All I saw was complete darkness. I was intrigued and I wanted to see where it lead to.

As I drove down the road was very very dark. It just kept going and going. It got foggy. It was exciting as I didn't know where the road would lead, or if I was even allowed to go in there.

Now the point of this blog entry is this:
As I drove down the road, I got this massive migraine. My head really started to hurt. Also, I had this strange feeling. It was neither good nor bad, just a neutral feeling, I don't know how to explain it, other than it was "different."

I felt as if there was something. Something you can't see, like energy, electricity, radio waves, radioactivity, etc. Living in a metropolis there is a lot of this. A lot of electromagnetic radiation coming from all of our gadgets and devices, the electricity, the energy waves, etc.

Now, geographically, this particular Miccosukee gas station was part of their reservation, you had to go some miles down to reach the Seminole reservation, which is separate. According to the 2000 census, there is no population in this part of the Miccosukkee reservation. It's just that one gas station, and you have to go down about 20 miles of the darkness of the everglades before you see any sort of civilization. And when you do it's very rural.

I think that because I drove down this area of pure natural land, without any radiation or electric posts, etc., I got a migraine. My brain is not used to this purity. I have grown accustomed to the radiation of radio waves, microwaves [cellphones], and infrared [satellite], etc. So when I reached this area without human impact, my body was not used to it.

This really goes to show how much stuff is out there that we don't see, which affects our everyday lives.

Now to go a little down the rabbit hole.

There are things out there like HAARP, MKULTRA, and SSSS [Silent Sound Spread Spectrum].
Who knows how much we are subliminally manipulated and mind controlled in these big urban population centers.
When we go outside of the reach of all this radiation, into nature, we may feel or think differently.
It's very subtle so it's hard to know what is actually going on and what exactly is changing.

Another theory... Maybe these Indian Reservations are being influenced with a certain frequency to keep them under control since they can't be controlled under normal laws due to their tribal sovereignty.

Next Halloween 2010 #todo

• Celebrate whole month of October,
• various costumes for different events/days/places,
• photo shoots of "main" costume,
• decorate your place,
• carve a jack-o-lantern,
• go to haunted houses,
• visit "real" haunted houses,
• haunted/ghost story "tours,"
• go to the cemetery,
• Halloween fairs,
• Halloween Horror Nights,
• scary movies out in theaters,
• movie theater "horror fests,"
• Halloween TV specials,
• horror blockbuster nights [with friends or by myself],
• trick-or-treating,
• Halloween goth/industrial club nights [Fetish Factory, etc.],
• Halloween House parties,
• Halloween parades,
• Street festivals,
• Zombie walks,
• Halloween at zoos and museums,
• Halloween at the malls,
• Do your research for Halloween events throughout the month,
• Participate in Starmen.net Halloween Funfest,
• Participate in "Halloween" contests

OBSOLETE SUBJECT NOT SUITABLE FOR ASSIMILATION

There are certain people in this universe which are worthless.  Their existence brings more harm than good. 
They manipulate, use, exploit, abuse, disrespect, devalue, drain, and take advantage of others.  They are irrational, psychotic, delusional, and stupid.  They do not contribute anything to society.  They are a waste of human flesh.  It doesn't matter what you do for these people, no matter how nice you are, they will always bring you down, treat you horribly, and blame you for all of their problems.  They will never change. 

Why do these people exist?  What is their purpose in the universe?  They have no value whatsoever and they are destructive to everyone and everything around them, regardless of how good you are to them. 

I don't understand what is the point of these people.  They should just be terminated.  That is the only logical solution for these kinds of people.  They bring no value to life other than to make everything worse.  

There should be some agency where you can file an application in order to terminate these useless people from Earth.  They are not worthy of the oxygen we breathe.  They should not be allowed to use any of the resources that we all use. 

It's people like this that make me truly believe that there is such a thing as evil in the world.

If the Borg came down to  Earth to assimilate one of these beings, which is not representative of the rest of humanity, the Borg will malfunction and die off.  This person's neuroses and delusional, irrational, and abusive thought patterns will spread through the Borg like a virus, dumbing down the hive and invalidating thousands of centuries of culture, technology, and knowledge gained through the assimilation of countless species throughout the universe.

COMPUTER DEVICE WISHLIST

SYSTEM MAIN: Laptop with bluetooth or wi-fi direct [*] and latest, top-of the line specs.

Laptop will be disconnected from all other parts.  I will not have to use the physical laptop itself if I don't want to. 
I will have a typical "office desk" setting with my mouse, keyboard, monitor, all wireless, and the laptop will be on the side on a stand.  If I want to take the computer with me, I just grab the laptop from the stand, disconnect the power cord, and go somewhere else.  Alternatively, I can grab my wireless/touchpad keyboard and use it with my TV.

[Wireless refers to either bluetooth, wi-fi network, or wi-fi direct]

• Vertical laptop stand | e.g. [*] [*]
• Wireless AV System to connect display to TV [*]
• Wireless keyboard with touchpad [*] / Laser keyboard [*] / Optimus Keyboard [*]
• Wireless mouse
• Wireless monitor [*]
• Wireless USB Hub
• Wireless external hard drive [*]
• Wireless speakers
• Wireless headphones
• Wireless printer
• Wireless Internet
  
• etc.

Post-School Goals

In no particular order:

• Get a better-paying job
• Lose weight
• Change to healthy diet
• Begin exercising normally
• Get lipo/surgery in specific areas I want
  
• Begin indoctrinating myself to new habits
• Pay off all debt
• Set aside a savings account
• Quit smoking
  
• Read all textbooks from school and take notes
• Keep any relevant/applicable information, donate else
• Focus on "MECHANESTHESIA" initiative [brand, life system, philosophy, style]
• Purchase all new technology I want; reposition self as one who is always on top of the latest technology and gadgetophile
• Purchase new wardrobe | Replace current that I don't like
• Purchase all the music I want
• Purchase all the video games/video game consoles I want
• Purchase all the books I want
• Purchase all the DVDs I want
• Purchase new furniture
• Automate my life
• Start online busines[es]
• Start monthly event
• Learn to dance
• Learn to DJ
• Lose virginity
• Collect "fuck buddies"
  
• Work on "sprituality"
• Experiment with drugs
• Look into psychonautics
• Reconcile technology with spirituality
• Reconcile technology with goth
• Continue with Social Aggregation Sequence  http://bit.ly/2vw5Aa
• Make music
• Make art
• etc. |

If only...

Tonight while I was working two guys came to the front desk around 4-ish. They were part of a group we had staying in the hotel "FL Democratic Party." One guy was shirtless, since he came from the pool, the other guy was fully clothed. They were both pretty handsome/cute. The shirtless one was better looking, with blond hair and blue eyes [?] and a mild southern accent.

They needed a new key. He didn't have his ID, so I had to ask him some questions about his reservation. I gave him the key. He asked for a napkin for his ear that was wet. Also, they asked me if there was anywhere they could buy cigarettes and I told them they could go to CVS. But then he asked if I smoked and I said yes, and they said if I could spare some cigarettes and I said yes. He asked for 2-3, I gave him three. He jokingly took the whole pack, and I said "No, it's like 6 bucks now!"

So I left the main point out for last:
While they were in the front desk, the shirtless guy kept saying that I was cute. He said I looked like Johnny Depp. I joked and said he's just saying that to get cigarettes out of me, and he said no, that he would say that regardless. He asked me how big my dick was. But then he kind of laughed that he even asked in the first place. Finally he said that the other guy that he was with wanted to fuck me, but he was too shy to ask. Then they left to their room.

They were both pretty cute, and the second guy, I actually had my eye on him earlier in the night.



Later, the 2nd guy comes back and tells me: "So yeah, in a 'non-gay way' you totally look like Johnny Depp. Has anyone said that to you before?" I say yes. Then he mentions the "Alice in Wonderland" movie. And tries to make some conversation. And then he leaves after a brief silence. I felt like I "lost him." I go to where he exited to take a cigarette break, I saw he was in his car, so I hesitated for a second. Then I walk towards the door, and he pulls out. As soon as I open the door he leaves. :(

I wanted to ask if what his friend said was true...

How Reality Works

This came to me during a [temporary RAM upgrade]...

Given, everything we experience throughout our entire lives is accessed through our various senses:

Sight
Hearing
Smell
Taste
Touch
Proprioception
Kinesthesia
Equilibrioception
Nociception
Sense of time
Thermoception
Magnetoception[mild]
Various "internal senses"
etc.

[see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senses]


Our brain is the system which processes and perceives the collective of all of our senses which create our reality.


Now the insight I had is this:

Imagine your body or maybe even your soul in a black void.

Now imagine electrical signals or frequencies coming of your body interacting with this image of reality that is around you.

The "black void" is like a layer that is in between your body and your image of reality, almost like a bubble.


So in summation, all of reality is sensed through "frequency waves" which actually "create" the reality around you.


The "frequencies" are the senses, the thoughts, everything...


This gives me an understanding of the whole concept of "creating your reality" by changing your thought frequencies. As someone put it in the past, I don't think the universe is a big "vending machine" for your every whim. But I do think that there is something to it. Thought frequencies are just a small part of it, but it does work. In the science of psychology it's called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." It has happened to be before, where I get a streak of "good luck" or "bad luck" depending on how my frame of mind is at that point in time.

Maybe the problem with this is that the thought itself is a frequency, and you have to learn to control the frequency behind the thought.

We only use 10% or less of our brains, so I think it takes a lot of learning to expand the utilization of your brain. There is no answer on how to "hack your brain." I believe that at the apex of this, or 100% brain utilization, you are one with God and can create your own reality in the sense that if you want, there is no floor or sky, you just disappear into a void where the void becomes your canvas of whatever reality you want to create.
There is no answer on how to do it, different people take different paths, whether it be shaping your thoughts, spirituality, ancient, modern, and personal religions, philosophies, and belief systems, learning, metacognition, studying the brain/mind, meditation, magic, necromancy, ritual, drugs, dreams, the sleep state, technology, music, etc.
[see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychonaut]


An aside about technology, which I have always believed and I think it is relevant here:
It is hard to put into words. But there is this duality between technology and spirituality.
Even using those two words are limiting, but think of these two concepts:

I: technology, machine, systematization, bureaucracy, modernity, cyber, metropolis, the future, singularity, transhumanism, etc.

II: spirituality, the spirit realm, religion, tribes, the ancient, paranormal, ESP, etc.

It's hard to lump words into these two "concepts," but hopefully one gets the idea...

I & II, technology and spirituality, the future and the ancient, etc. seem to be two vast polar opposites.

But I propose integrating the two.
Strike that, it's already happening in labs all around the world.

Science is proving things that were long known be many ancient religions.

For example, in science we have the theory of "quantum entanglement," in religion we have the theory of "monism."

It seems as though the world of spirituality and technology are colliding.


My belief is that one can find enlightenment or reach "nirvana" through technology.

One method could be through a device such as a "God Helmet."
[see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_helmet]


That more or less is an example of what my pseudonym "mechanesthesia" means to me.
It's the integration of the two concepts above.

"mecha" and "aesthesia"

A machine who senses.

-Technology, Mechanization, The System
versus or vis-à-vis
-Sensation, Feeling, our ancient roots [including ESP, psychometry, mediumship, clairvoyance, our connection to the spirit world and other realms of consciousness, etc., which I believe is part of the 90% of the brain we don't use]



P.S. Fuck you Twitter. I was almost thinking of posting this thought in 140 characters or less.

Electromagnetic Spirits

Dilemma

dilemma #6-1189M.004

Death and Pizza

I woke up a few minutes ago from a dream where [user deleted] died.
In the dream at least, it was a horrible feeling that had set in.

In real life, I actually got a phone call that night from [user deleted]'s house.  I didn't get it of course, but no message was left.
In the dream however, this phone call gained a new level of meaning.  Was it his brother calling me to let me know of the news?  Or maybe it would have been his last phone call ever to me before his death?
Let me give you some background, when I got that phone call yesterday, I got a horrible feeling of uneasiness.  It was like this fear.  I am trying everything in my power to forget about this person, and just the thought of them makes me feel distraught.  I was feeling very anxious and uneasy for a few hours at work, until I just feel asleep.

It was 10:56pm in the dream.  It was late, but I called his grandmother's house anyway.  She was upset as usual and said she didn't want to speak to anyone, but I asked her if his brother was there [it seemed as she didn't know of the news as she was behaving as usual].  When I spoke to his brother, he was just crying nonstop, he was barely intelligible.  In this dream, I had no idea whether this death was something very recent or something that had happened in the last week.  I had no idea if I had missed the funeral, and I was wondering if the phone call I didn't get was him notifying me of the death and/or the funeral.  It was a very horrible feeling.  I felt like I had "lost my chance."  You know that feeling that people talk about where they are not speaking to someone and are in bad terms with this person, and then they die?  That's how I felt.  Like this person had died, and their last memory of me was that we were arguing and not speaking to eachother.  The last memory was something negative.  

Now let me go back to the beginning a little bit in the dream.  I was at my old house [pre-move] and my grandmother was there.  I had ordered pizza.  Strangely I ordered four individual slices.  I had also ordered chicken wings, but they forgot to give it to me.  It was some new weird kind of pizza.  I got like extra cheese or something.  I had also tried to eat three slices of bacon earlier, but they were undercooked, so I didn't eat them.

This does have some significance.  In my subconscious and in my dream world, I am still living in my old house.  My mind has still not adapted to this new place.  I think that is why I have still not adapted or feel 100% comfortable.  It is really hard for me to deal with change, and I think it's going to take a while for me to get settled in and used to the idea.  It's like my "spirit" or something still lives there.  Maybe that's how it works when people die, they get attached to a place and don't "move on" to the light.  My spirit needs to "move on" several streets down the road and to the left.

Also, not only did I wake up with a horrible feeling of someone "missing" and "what could of been."  I also woke up with a feeling of pizzalessness, and that I had someTHING missing.  For a split second I was looking for my pizza. :(

But I just wanted to put into the collective consciousness:

[user deleted], we have our differences, and it's hard for us to get along.  But when we do, it's a great thing.  We don't have to be joined at the hip.  But we also don't have to be so vitriolic to eachother.  Life is too short.  And if one of us dies, I really don't a negative thought to be the last one we have of eachother.  I apologize.

Now... I am too scared to actually do this in person, and this person really did hurt me.  So I don't know if I will actually talk to them in person.  But it's going to be in the back of my head...